Dealing With Guilt

September 15, 2012 Saturday

I was up at 6:00 AM to be ready for the wounded warrior tour down the Rhine River, again.  We had a smaller group today and the weather was not as nice as our last outing.  I talked to one young man who said he felt guilty for being here as a patient.  When I asked him why, he said that he looks at some of the patients and thinks to himself, “I am not shot and I am not an amputee.”  He went on to say that he felt like he should be able to control his condition by himself.  I have observed over time that many, if not all of the patients have guilt of one sort or another.  They have guilt for leaving their families back home, they have guilt for leaving their comrades down range, they have guilt about being sick or wounded.  I don’t know how many times I have said, “it is normal to have guilt; however, if you are not at 100% you will not help anyone.”  There is a reason they are all here, but sometimes the psychological guilt they harbor can be worse than the actual reason that brought them to the hospital.  Guilt is a difficult emotion to come to terms with and control.

I worked 11 hours today

September 14, 2012 Friday

I worked 7 hours today.

September 12, 2012 Wednesday

It is a cold, rainy and windy day. I worked 8 hours today.

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